Turning 30 is a milestone every woman has an opinion about, most of which aren’t pleasant. I remember coming home on my 30th birthday feeling quite shocked about how good 30 felt. I had crowned the day by going Salsa dancing in Victoria Island and all that spinning and twirling had me dizzy with excitement about life.

That was a few years ago. I held off on writing this post till now because it was too early to make a judgement on what turning 30 was really about. But after all this time, I think I can tell you for sure.

• You are really not as old as you think

  Society suggests that our 20s are our prime, our strongest, or most desirable years, but having crossed the mark, I have to say this is not true. You are only as old as you feel and it’s really just a game of numbers;  + 1, etc. Question is, who is counting and why?

• You come into yourself

  By 30, you have achieved some level of success in your life; graduation, a job, an apartment, a car, a spouse or perhaps a few kids. You’ve been “adulting” since 21 and now the process of self-actualization is consolidating. You’ve got your shit together…well, most of it. You have fewer insecurities because you know yourself better. You know what you are good at and what you have to offer. You also know what you sick at and what you want to improve.

• You care a lot less about people’s opinion

  Since you now know who you are, you make better choices most of the time, following your own moral compass. You can be who you want to be and do what you want. Peer pressure is so much less and even when there’s pressure, you decide who influences you and to what extent. It’s easier to tune out all the noise because you no longer need the majority’s validation.

• You are calmer

  I think this might be because you gradually stopped fuzzing about all the things in your life that you cannot change. You realize that not everything needs to be perfect to be appreciated including you. You have more experiences and made your fair share of mistakes. Now, you’ve got life figured out…mostly.

• You are less afraid and more decisive

  You realize that most of the things you were scared of have happened and you didn’t die. So you are braver when it comes to making long-term decisions in your life. You weigh the risks, decide on what you can with and you jump. There’s a lot less analysis paralysis.

• You have a bit more patience and endurance in difficult times

  Honestly, you’ve been there and done that and like everything else in life, it will pass.

• You have no time for BS

  You have standards and expectations of yourself and people around you, supporting your decision-making skills. Complemented by your wealth of experience, you quickly discern the quality of interactions you want in your life. Time is precious and you can’t bear any dead weight. You can spot bad friendships and unproductive relationships very quickly and nip them in the bud without remorse.

• You know what love is and where to put it

  You stop chasing pavements and focus time and energy loving yourself and the people who matter to you. There’s little to prove to anyone anymore. You have the greatest bond with your true friends and family. Though few, you have been through thick and thin together and nothing withers this bond.

• You forgive yourself

  It is said that you are an adult at 18 or is it 21? But looking back at some “smart” choices I made then, I cringe. At 30, you can look back at those really embarrassing moments and excruciating heartbreaks and laugh at yourself…well, at least most of them. You’ll see things differently and be thankful for the bullets you dodged.

• You see your life and others differently

  You are more satisfied with your life even if most of it hasn’t turned out like you hoped. You may be single, childless, divorced, or earning far less than you dreamed of. But you can accept your life for what it is and focus on making it the best it can be regardless of yours and societal expectations.  You realize that regardless of age, we are all struggling to be the best we can. From your parents to your partner, You realize that we’re all just people doing the best we can with what we have been given.

• You are more beautiful inside and out

  At 30, you do not curve, wrinkle or shrivel up. If you have been taking care of yourself in your 20s, regardless of a few sprouting grey hairs,  you will look and feel even more beautiful in your thirties.  There’s no mark on your forehead to scream “30” and so there’s no shortage of men once you hit this milestone. If anything, there are ample more. You exude more self-confidence which makes you more attractive to older and younger men alike. Trust me, I know. To be sure, beware the return of exes, they have a way of crawling up among your missed calls.

• Your biological clock is fine…for now

  The age of menopause and the clinical features of menopause were investigated by a questionnaire survey in 563 Nigerian women of Yoruba descent who have been menopausal for at least 5 years. The mean and median ages of menopause were 48.4 and 48.0 years, respectively. The average age for women to have their last period is about 50. But it’s normal for menopause to occur any time from age 41 to 59.  Factors which affect menopause are genetics, smoking and ovarian surgeries. So you can keep calm, your eggs aren’t finished.

As kids, we could hardly wait for the next birthday. When asked how old we were, we’d be too happy to blurt out “six and a half!”. We’d look forward to the next birthday and all the promise it held. But we’ve have lost all that magic. Our reason to be excited and thankful for a new year in life is tied to personal, social or financial success.

I hope we find ways to rekindle our passion and celebrate ourselves at every opportunity we get regardless of our accomplishments or societal expectations. I hope we find reason to be thankful for the time we have been given with the people we love. Like fine wine,  I hope you age gracefully, getting sweeter year after year.

Here’s to a happy 30th Birthday!

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