It’s here! The moment we’ve been waiting for. Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk and the rest of the Avengers team up to fight Thanos; their most powerful adversary yet!  His mission: to collect all six Infinity Stones and rebalance the universe. And as usual, our fate rests with the Avengers. You have to be living under a rock, on the moon, not to have heard about this movie because Thanos has gone and just about destroyed everywhere else!

 

This movie has been all the rave, but if you really have been sleeping on it, you can watch the trailer here:

Now, get 2 packs of popcorn and go pee because this movie is looooonger than you will believe! Worse, it is very fast-paced, blink and you miss 3 scenes. So, I’m serious about you using the restroom.

Infinity Wars brings together a lot of familiar and beloved characters including our billionaire fiance Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), our neighborhood vigilante Spider-man (Tom Holland), our favourite magician; Dr Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), our Prince; Thor (Chris Hemsworth fans self), a new, improved and bearded Captain America (Chris Evans), the Guardians of the Galaxy (Chris Pratt) (Zoe Saldana) and of course the talking tree; Groot (Vin Diesel , in his least glamorous role yet).

 

Oh, how can I forget, our own King T’Challa of Wakanda was there too. At this point, you can already imagine how long the credits at the end will be. Best believe you will sit through it, all two hours and thirty minutes of it.

Now to the meat of the matter. I’ll try not to leave any spoilers in this review but here goes.

It starts with a bang! In fact, it felt like Infinity Wars is a continuation of another movie. I mean, we are greeted by some really ugly guy telling us how lucky we are to be dying by the hands of Thanos. The place is ravaged, corpses everywhere, Heimdall (Idris Elba) the Asgard Gate-Keeper fallen and dying, Thor defeated and on his knees. I had to check the time twice just to be sure I wasn’t at the end of the movie.

The plot itself is broad, with so many things happening at the same time on different planets,with different characters, but I feel like the director did a great job of tying it all together and not losing us in all that space and time travelling. Don’t get excited, there’s no time to relax or pack your flip-flops. Half the time we were hanging on the outside of spaceships or crashing into the ruins of some unknown planet in the middle of nowhere.

 

The dialog is actually very entertaining, and a lot of times I genuinely had to laugh out loud. The retorts were very realistic and hilarious, witty remarks and creative insults were not lacking. You know when it’s funny because the character just spoke your mind? Yeah. It’s that kind of funny.

 

It’s also very emotional. Hell, things get emotional from scene one, and I’m talking a wide range of emotions: anger,  excitement, shock, confusion, heartbreak, loss. It’s like this whole movie is designed to make you feel something, and you will. Even Thanos, the big, purple, genocide-masterminding bad guy sheds a few tears too. That’s why I told you to pee…and bring your tissue.

 

But gosh, the fighting scenes were amazing! No shortage of kicks, punches and tricks. Here every other scene had some or the other. Throw in Dr. Stranges wrist swirling and shape shifting and it couls almost be described as elegant.

 

The fight in Wakanda, with T’Challa and Captian America running to the enemy lines ahead of the Wakandan arm was nothing short of glorious. I can only compare it to war in Lord of the Rings.

 

The ladies got a lot of screen time and did they turn up! Scarlet Witch, Black Widow and of course Okoye, Head of the Wakanda’s Armed Forces and Intel did not come to play. Representing Nigeria in battle, she did not embarrass us! Our girl was bald as an egg and wielding her spear like nobody’s business.

 

These girls “kicked names and took ass” so good, I’ll be going to the gym tonight. Fat as I am, my super power will be sitting on my enemies and crushing them, like the hulk. Don’t worry, Tony Stark has a suit for Avengers of all sizes.

 

There were a lot of picturesque moments too, the ruined planets were especially detailed and  well done in my humble opinion. I especially want Thor and his lighten bright eyes for my next desktop wallpaper.

 

Of all of the heros, my favourite characters were Rocket the Racoon/Rabbit and Groot. Something about those 2 in a scene particularly excited me. Perhaps it’s, the rabbits quick-wit and mischief? Plus, they held their own during the war. Talk about small but mighty! Let me know who your favourite superhero was in the comment section below.

 

 

 

My first concern is, this movies dependence on the last nine marvel movies, the sheer number of characters and concurrent story-lines. I feel like it will be quite difficult for non-marvel fans to catch up on everything going on because there’s so much history. The characters did leave clues to past events but I’m of the opinion that if you haven’t followed the back stories, this one might not be as meaningful.

Next, the lack of blood. Don’t get me wrong I understand this is to make it convenient for family-viewing and a larger audience. However, I don’t know how one can have such a massive invasion of fire resistant monsters with long sharp teeth and claws, and yet no one got crunched on. Nobodies blood sprayed on us after the bad babe with horns bragged that they had “plenty of blood to spare”. Even those who were supposed to be injured did not exactly bleed. The most we got was some minor trickles of blood running down someone’s face. Even Tony Stark that was somewhat impaled spat out blood once but did not bleed from the major wound. It’s a war for Christ sake.

 

Finally, I couldn’t help but notice that HawkEye, Flash, Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman were absent?  We had what? 15? 20 superheroes? More than any superhero movie in history, and quite frankly bothering on too much. But, it’s the Infinity war, the war of all wars. The end of life as we know it. Who’s got the right to be on leave right now, when Thanos is destroying planet after planet, and heroes are dying like flies? No amount of help would have been too much!

Finally, the end. The end of this movie is the cliff hanger of all cliff hangers. I thought A Quiet Place left us in suspense but this film will finish and you will be stuck in your seat like “Wait, is this it? Excuse me? Explain. What just happened?” You might have to do some googling to eventually find your peace.

Summarily, this is the most intense, complex, and entertaining Marvel film yet and it is worth your time and money. I will definitely see it again…and again. The movie is showing in all the cinemas in Abuja and Lagos right now. None of them are paying me for this so I’m not recommending anyone in particular. Besides, they all sell crappy popcorn. Regardless, tomorrow is Friday, movie night. GO AND SEE this movie with someone who likes these sort of films! You’ll have the best time.

If you have to, take your older kids, teenagers with a long attention span, not the younger ones. In my opinion, this movie isn’t for small children. They won’t be able to follow the story. They will certainly get fidgety and probably ruin your experience. But, what do I know?

P:S: The gifs aren’t mine. Got them all on tumblr.

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Have you seen Avengers: Infinity War? Let me know what you think in the comments!
As always, thank you for reading!
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