I’m a sucker for tall men. If he is tall, and by tall I mean 6 feet and above, I have what I call a “Halo Moment”, you know what a Halo Moment is right?
You know how in the movies the insecure guy spots the beautiful, well-dressed, long-legged woman in 6 inch heels strutting into the office and then everything starts to happen in slow motion? The soundtrack changes tempo, then she, luminous, and oblivious to his attention pulls off her hairband and shakes her long golden hair slowly so it catches the light and we are all hypnotised by its lustre and buoyance?
Well, from across the rowdy lobby, I saw him walk into my office building. He didn’t have long golden hair and the humming of the generator did nothing to acknowledge or announce his presence in this scene. However, he was tall, luminous and oblivious to my attention, and this was enough to set everything moving in slow motion.
I had been waiting for the elevator with a co-worker. Actually, she met me waiting. I didn’t know we had formed a silent partnership till the elevator doors opened and she got in and beckoned to me to join her.
I was still in my Halo Moment and she was interrupting. I was watching him reluctantly sign the attendance log at the entrance of the lobby. He chatted with the ladies managing the reception.
I shooed my elevator partner along, almost irritated by her show of concern. “I’m waiting for someone.” And I wasn’t lying. I was waiting for him, my destiny. Yes, I know it’s too soon, but in the movies, when there’s a Halo Moment, there’s always a significant part of the main character’s destiny affected by it.
He walked up to the elevator and stood behind me, answering my prayer that wherever his appointment was, it won’t be on the ground floor. He’s got an unattractive slouch to his walk I thought …but it’s nothing we can’t live with. He was gangly too, but I’m fat enough for both of us. So, I slowly adjusted my position enough to accommodate him in my peripheral vision. He had a small face, brown short wavy hair with sparse brown beards and mustache to match. His crisply iron dark blue shirt was tucked in his white pants. Then, my hormones kicked in, drifting my thoughts a little below his belt and had me wondering what colour “it” was. Thankfully, those thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the elevator doors opening.
Another prayer was answered when no one came out of the elevator and no one else had come to join us.
Excellent, it will be just us two! Love is in the air people!
I stepped in, pressed the button to my floor and the elevator started to make its ascent.
Okay. We are alone. Now what? Silence, nothing but the sound of papers being tossed about inside my head.
Before I could dig up a single pick-up line the elevator stopped. An old man got in on the first floor so my brunette had made room for him by stepping right in front of me. Great, we are face to face but no privacy.
Of all the five floors, the old man pressed the button for the fourth floor.
Damn, he just ruined everything.
Destiny abruptly interrupted.
We got to the fourth floor a lot faster than I’d have liked. The old man got off, and in that moment I realised that my crush hadn’t selected a floor. I seized the moment.
“What floor are you going to?” in alarm but with my brightest smile. “Fifth floor” he replied and smiled back.
Ha! He is going my way!
“The C.O.O’s office”
blurry vision He is still going my way.
“Actually, I’m here to pick up a letter. They called to say it’s ready so…”
“Sure, the office is right next to mine”
The elevator opened, I stepped out and walked off towards my office. I stopped in front of my door and pointed to the C.O.O’s office.
“Here’s mine and there’s yours” I said loud enough for only me to hear though. He smiled, and said a thank you and went in.
As soon as he vanished, I flew into my office, slammed the door, slumped against it and took my first breath since I laid eyes on him.
“What?!” Patricia asked worried.
“I just met the love of my life!”
“You have started again” She eyed me, exasperated and went back to working on her laptop
“No. No, this time it’s for real! He is so tall…but he is white.” I added reluctantly.
“White?” she asked, not hiding her disapproval.
“Yes white. Don’t worry, I don’t mind pink little babies”
She sighed and gave in.
“What’s his name? Did you get his number?” She asked wide-eyed.
“No, there wasn’t enough time. We didn’t…get to that point…” and I proceeded to tell her about my Halo Moment, deliberately skipping the part about his pants and the complexion of its contents …
“Well, is he gone?”
“No he is in the C. O. O’s office”
“Well go out and get his number”
I panicked but I went out. I peeped in the C. O. O’s office, he was there, backing the door and talking to the Secretary. This might take a while.
What to do…
I paced about in the empty hallway praying for divine wisdom and intervention. Then I heard a door click and drag open and I immediately pretended to be taking a call. He walked right by me but I kept my head low and made no eye contact. No need for him to know that in less than five minutes and three sentences I had become a stalker. He would discover that after a trip down the aisle and two children.
I took my imaginary call and walked up to join him waiting for the elevator, frantically pressing the elevator button like I was in a hurry. Thankfully, the elevator was on the ground floor – enough time to start a conversation.
When my call finally ended and I looked up, he was reading his letter.
“You got it?”
Then he stared at the numbered panel above the elevator doors
“It’s still on the second floor” he said, “We will be here a while”
“Yeah, if it doesn’t get stuck” I replied.
“Yes, often enough. Twice today actually.” I affirmed.
I was careful not to add that I was silently praying that we both get stuck on this ride and the emergency key breaks, then we will fall in love, and when we are rescued, live happily ever after.
“Why don’t we take the stairs then?” he suggested.
“From here? It’s a long way down!” I retorted.
Now that I think of it, that might have been a good idea, more time to talk, exchange phone numbers and maybe pheromones…
Then we were interrupted by the elevator doors opening. We got in and I stood there trying to find something appropriate to say. Maybe I could compliment his height, I thought. A lot of guys compliment my height, it’s corny but I was getting a little desperate because the elevator was speeding down.
This stupid elevator never gets stuck when you want it to.
Before I could work up the courage to speak again, the elevator stopped on the third floor and a colleague got in. We greeted and I pretended to be glad to see him. He went on, chatting about work. To my horror he was going all the way to the ground floor with us!
We hit the ground floor in seconds and there was a hoard of people waiting to get in. As I ambled through the crowd, another colleague stopped me to compliment my dress.
My crush stepped out and turning towards the exit, he smiled a goodbye. I think I smiled or waved back, I’m not sure. He walked off towards the exit and I went in the opposite direction thinking “What will I tell Patricia?”.